Gestures
by Fethawit
Summary: The Captain was your priority as his assistant. You were the perfect personal assistant for Levi, and the pair of you even shared what could've been called a friendship. The day that you were promoted to a Squad Leader things were different. You weren't his assistant anymore - couldn't be. Dynamics shifted, feelings intensified and absence made the heart grow fonder. Levi x Reader
1. Last Day

A squad _leader, huh?_

You grinned at nobody in particular while toying with the glistening new insignia between your fingers. Every time you turned it a certain way, a slim glint of light would reflect off the rim.

 _'Squad leader [l/n].'_ You repeated to yourself.

 _'I can't wait to tell Nanaba. Oh, gosh. The look on her face when she finds out!'_ Picturing it in your head already, you brought your hand to your mouth as you let out staggered breaths through your nose, laughing silently. Her usually calculated eyes would go wide with shock; her jaw would hang slack in a half-gasp, half-smile for her best friend's promotion.

You leant back on your chair and took a deep breath, simply content with letting it all sink in. Shutting your eyes, you recalled the moments from just hours ago in your head.

* * *

 _"It's about goddamn time!"_

 _A hearty chuckle resonated through your superior's office as you jutted your hip to the side, hand resting on it. Evident in your eyes and lips was a smile as you stared at the back of your Commander's head. He was looking out of the window behind his desk. While you couldn't see his face, you could hear a smile in his voice._

 _"Indeed, [l/n]," he cleared his throat. "Five years of service, hm?"_

 _"Yes, sir! It seems like just yesterday you were scolding me for skipping academics," you chimed, clutching the shining insignia of a squad leader to your chest._

 _In return, you received a tame laugh from the man._

 _"How you've grown, little [f/n]," he said as he turned from his place to look at you, his lips pulled into a taut smile._

 _He took in your features, feeling his blue eyes examine your posture intently. They were so deep, yet always so unreadable and cold. Reading him was just out of your reach, as was the sky the colours mirrored. He was so contradictory – outwardly friendly and pragmatic during downtime, yet so… impossible._

 _You were pulled from your thoughts as you heard the last few words of his sentence—_

 _"—won't you?"_

 _"Wh—?" you trailed, looking like a startled doe._

 _"Your papers as a Squad Leader."_

 _"What about them?"_

 _Sheepishly, you scratched an imaginary itch on the back of your neck._

 _"Come and collect them at twenty-one-hundred. You'll need to keep them on your person at all times from now on." You watched intently as he strode towards you, placing a firm and controlled hand on your shoulder. "Welcome to the ranks, Squad Leader [l/n]."_

 _The grin on your face could only grow as you saluted your comrade with a head held high, your fist pounding over your chest as it clutched the pristine insignia._

 _"Yes sir, Commander Erwin, sir!"_

* * *

Uncontrollable giggles left you as you flailed your legs.

No more sitting at the PFC table with the rest of the first rank soldiers!

No more sleeping in shared quarters! Privacy—thank god! Some privacy!

No more mundane errands for the Captain-

 _Oh._

Oh, wait.

The chair you were perched on screeched as it was suddenly dragged backwards. You pushed yourself away from the table you were sitting at, nearly tripping over your own two feet as you rushed to lean outside of the window.

'Thank Sina!' you thought to yourself while you released a breath you didn't even know you were holding. The sundial in the courtyard indicated that it was just before six – still time for your not-so-official duty.

Nevertheless, you hurried to the mess hall, your leather boots patting on the cobblestone floor enthusiastically while you paced through the doors.

Greeting subordinates and privates as you walked through the hall, you vigorously made a hand gesture towards a particularly handsome young woman, pawing at her attention. When she looked up from her tray of food, she sparked a slight smile and gently waved back.

 _'Gosh, Nanaba is so pretty,'_ you mused to yourself.

"I'll come see you at nine," you called to her as you walked backwards towards your destination, but still facing her. Your friend gave you a thumbs up and a kind glint in her eyes, flickering butterflies in your stomach.

 _'It's unfair for a girl to be that fine.'_

You weren't particularly into girls, but there was something – perhaps it was Nanaba's androgyny – that confused your sexuality. Her warm eyes and certain expressions she only seemed to save for you, her boyish undercut that showed off her prominent jawline…

Pushing through the doors to the kitchen, you spotted the unlucky cadets on kitchen duty tonight.

"Gooooood afternoon, cadets!" you yelled out to them, glancing at their clearly exhausted forms. Luckily for them, dinner rush seemed to just be ending.

"Hey, [f/n]," said the cadet with mousy brown hair, lazily looking up from his chopping board.

"Nu-uh, Kirschtein!" you waggled your finger at the cadet as he quizzically raised his dark eyebrow. "That's Squad Leader [f/n] to you, now!" you boasted, earning some excited gasps in your direction.

"No way!" squalled a shorter boy, his hair buzzed extremely neatly. "When did that happen?" You watched as he nearly dropped a ladle into the large stock pot, snickering slightly at him.

An even smaller blonde girl trotted towards you excitedly, who made sure to wipe her hands on her apron before she took yours. "That's wonderful news!" her voice rang, her big blues sparkling with sincerity. "I'm so glad – it was bound to happen anytime soon!" You gave her a lopsided grin and her hair a familiar ruffle.

"You're too sweet, Lenz—" you were about to go on about your promotion until you realised— **"Hey!"** the subordinates flinched, "story time for later! Back to work! Springer, light another burner for me, medium heat," you barked as you strode towards the cabinets.

You hummed to yourself in contentedness when you heard the sounds of kitchen work resume. Pulling out a pristine teapot, a pouch of tea leaves and a tea diffuser fashioned to look like a swan, you laid them out on a counter. Ticking off a mental checklist, you filled the teapot until it contained two inches of water and instructed Kirschtein to pop it onto the free burner while you measured the leaves. Pulling a handkerchief from your breast pocket, you tentatively gave the diffuser a good wipe and dropped the material onto the counter before carefully measuring exactly six grams of elderflower earl grey leaves into it.

Perfect.

By then the water in the teapot was hot enough to take off the burner since the tiny amount only took a few moments to boil. You swirled the boiling water around, making sure all of the surface area from the inside had been warmed up, softening the limescale that had collected throughout the day, making sure to wipe it off while the hot water had softened it. Rinsing the teapot from the dirty (you didn't really think it was dirty, but you knew the Captain would beg to differ) water, you filled it again, this time totally, before placing it back on the burner to boil.

While you waited for that, you made sure to wipe down two teacups, two saucers… what else…? Ah! You placed two teaspoons onto the counter—

"You really know what you're doing, don't you, [f/n]?" said the tallest cadet. You only hummed a reply in concentration, making sure not to leave a single spot unwiped.

"I goddamn better. Three and a half of this shit, Kirschtein," you smiled broadly, looking to him for a brief moment before going back to wiping. "Three years and a half of being that small man's personal assistant. No more, I say!" Wiggling your shoulders in celebration, you were ecstatic about having another private (or unfortunate cadet) take your place instead. You had your specialised job down to an art – you had to, after all that time you spent running his mini missions.

Imagine all the free time you'd have now! Not having to spend it running from office to office, being the Captain's personal courier would leave so much free time on your hands, you wouldn't know what to do with yourself! Actually… maybe you'd have some paperwork, but still…

You held the back of your hand to the side of the teapot. Too hot, and the leaves would burn and taste bitter. Not hot enough, and the tea would be too weak. But thankfully, it was substantial enough to turn the burner off. Carefully, you lifted the teapot onto a serving tray, followed by the tea diffuser. While counting in your head the seconds that passed, you placed two saucers next to the teapot, and one plain teacup alongside a more ornate one. You filled the time by rubbing away any spots and blemishes of the tray. Periodically lifting the top of the teapot to check the colour, you decided it was absolutely perfect once it hit six minutes. Pink lips pursed into a proud smile to yourself as you removed the diffuser and took a teaspoon and sipped at the liquid.

Ah, how exemplary as always, me!

You placed the teaspoon into your pocket, so you'd be sure that your superior wouldn't use the one you had put in your mouth.

The sugar! Nearly forgot!

You jolted into action, finding a tiny bowl to spoon sugar into and having it accompany the teacups on the tray.

The Captain didn't always have sugar with his tea. You tried observing some kind of pattern but you came to the conclusion that sometimes he had his tea with sugar, and sometimes he didn't. You put it on the tray always to make sure anyway.

Nodding to yourself, you knew that you had everything done. Just in time for the short man to begin his evening bout of paperwork.

You lifted the tray carefully and said your goodbyes to the youngsters of the room, a chorus of 'goodbye!'s and 'see ya later!'s following you. Weaving through the rush of people tootling around to enjoy their evening of free time, you expertly walked backwards to open doors to his office, or pushed them open with your hips – all while keeping the tray flawlessly level. It wasn't long until you found yourself to his door. Gently, your leather boot met his door three times.

 **Tap tap tap.**

"Captain Levi, sir," you said loud enough for the person inside to hear.

You received an expected and curt, "enter."

He wouldn't ask for your name and business like he would for others. He'd heard it enough times, at this exact time of the day to know who it was, and what it was for.

Balancing the tray with your left hand, you turned the door handle with your right and pushed yourself inside. You gave him a one-handed salute with your free right hand, still keeping the tray of tea upright.

He didn't bother to look up from his documents. Instead, he opted for moving some items on his desk around and tilted his head towards the space he made. You obediently placed the tray down and immediately began to serve the tea, making sure to pour the amber liquid into the decorated teacup first before your own plainer one. Happily, you took your teacup and saucer into your hands and wiggled into one of the chairs in front of his desk, and watched as he picked up his own cup by the rim, followed by the small bowl of sugar.

Hm. Today's a sugar day.

It was one of the few moments of your schedule that you could just sit down and relax. Even if you were sitting across from your superior, this had happened enough times that you could just—

"[l/n]."

You looked up from your cup to turn your attention to the Captain. His eyes were locked onto the tray, strands of charcoal black cascading over his permanently fixed expression.

"Sir?"

"You forgot the teaspoon."

Oh. I left the other teaspoon on the goddamn counter.

"My—" god fucking "—my apologies, sir! I'll go downstairs immediate—"

You were already setting down your cup back onto the tray and getting ready to leave when you heard him grunt as he exhaled.

"No need, [l/n]," he was returning the bowl of sugar back to its place on the tray and you stopped him mid-action.

Holding your hand in a 'halt' action, you pursed your lips while reaching for the teaspoon in your pocket. You saw his eyes move from the tray to your hands, his expression unchanging and voice silent. Reaching for the handkerchief you always kept in your breast pocket to wipe down the spoon, you—

No fucking way.

Not the handkerchief too.

You mentally kicked yourself, mouthing a silent 'fuck'. It earned the slightest twitch of curiosity on the Captain's eyebrow. But still, he held his hand over his desk and towards the spoon, humming perplexingly when you pulled it closer to yourself, just out of his reach.

"I used it, sir," you puffed your cheeks out bashfully, embarrassed at your uncharacteristic mistakes. "To taste a bit of the tea before bringing it here."

"And?"

Frankly, you were pretty taken aback.

He still wanted your teaspoon? After it had already been used?

"Sir, I already, used it!" you foolishly repeated yourself.

"I can hear, [l/n]."

With lips parted in confused at his disregard for hygiene, you handed him the spoon anyway, your eyes not leaving the utensil as he pinched the handle, using it to spoon a little bit of sugar into his steaming teacup. You couldn't even look at his teacup when he used the spoon to mix his tea with the same spoon that was previously in your mouth.

You sat back down, taking quite a while to get comfortable again. Deciding to peek over your teacup while taking a sip, you nearly choked when your eyes met his.

The eye contact was jolting like lightning. Stormy eyes seemed to hold yours captive as you watched him slip the teaspoon between his lips. He sucked on the spoon and—

You coughed and pulled your teacup away from your mouth, tearing your eyes away from his.

What the hell was that?

You swear you heard a single, quick exhale, like a sneer. But when you glanced back at the Captain, his eyes were closed, expression relaxed as he swallowed your tea.


	2. Illuminate

Shuffling through one of the storage sheds, you grew frustrated at how awfully disorganised it was inside. The ache in your lower back was beginning to get unbearable from leaning over all evening.

 _God. The Captain would hate it in here._

You stomped your foot in irritation while standing back up, yelping as your head smacked against a low hanging shelf. And _mother fucker_ , did it hurt. The throbbing at the back of your head only angered you more. You pressed your palm against the bump and hissed at the dull pain it emitted. Stupid storage shed. Stupid candles and stupid lights. Stupid. _Stupid._

You let out another squeak as something rolled off the shelf and onto your head.

You were all out of good luck, weren't you?

Just about ready to throw the world's biggest hissy fit, you whipped around to find whatever awful thing dropped onto you and throw it against the wa–

Ah. It was the exact candle you were looking for.

Thankfully the stick of wax didn't break when it fell. So you bent over to pick it up. While running your thumb against the engravings of the wax, you could feel the throbbing in your head subsiding quietly away. You could only sigh as you waited for it to ebb away completely. But it never quite did, even after a while.

 _'Stärke',_ the candle read.

The Scouting Legion was low on funds. You knew that already. After all, who would want to invest in an organisation that people took as a joke? To compensate, the Scouting Legion took what they could. Spare candles from Wall Worshippers was one of those things. You knew that they weren't all bad though. As was the truth with a lot of things.

You hummed to yourself as you turned to the shelf the candle fell from, finding messy pyramids of candles in abundance. Taking two in each hand for now, you huffed as the pain from the bump hadn't quite subsided yet. But never mind that. You had to make your way to the Captain's office. You didn't just go collecting candles and slamming your head into things as a hobby.

While you walked through the significantly emptied halls, you had only your own thoughts with you. It hadn't struck you until the past hour quite yet. You knew you wouldn't need to serve the Captain alongside your own duties anymore, which you were glad about. Perhaps you have some kind of responsibility on your shoulders though, to pass on your findings as the Captain's long-term assistant to the next generation.

You scoffed at how ridiculous you were being. You were acting as if you were some sort of historian, uncovering secrets that nobody else knew.

It dawned on you that perhaps… just perhaps, that was actually the case.

Secrets nobody else knew, you meant.

Little ones like Levi's drawer. The second one down to his right. It was filled with ripped patches, some bloodied, some torn into fractions. The wings of freedom that a soldier once emblazoned. He kept what he could.

Or did you know that even Humanity's Strongest could get ill sometimes? You recalled the time that the man nearly worked himself to death, despite suffering from awful migraines and shooting temperatures. You remembered how he tried to kick you out of his office because _'you'll catch some shitty germs and spread them all over this shitty place.'_ Though you knew that his little, abrasive way of saying, _'I don't want you to get ill.'_

You remembered how it was one of the few times you disobeyed him. Well. You supposed you technically didn't. The Captain instructed you to make tea, to help him stay up while he finished the last of his condolence letters. You gave him his tea. It was simply decaffeinated. So when you checked up on him an hour later, you guiltily observed the way he had fallen asleep on his desk, breathing laboured and posture probably uncomfortable. All you could really do for him at that point was find a cloak in his quarters to drape over his shoulders, and carefully move his chin so he wouldn't wake with a stiff neck. You recalled ending the night sat under waning candlelight next to Mike and Nanaba, with you having stolen a few dozen sheets of parchment from your superior's office along with the briefing of deceased soldiers. You begged your two friends to help you do the Captain's work for him, promising to help them in return sometime.

Smiling to yourself, you thought about how you later handed them to Erwin and begged – utterly pleaded for the man to tell the Captain that he had already given them in and that he must've been too ill to remember writing them and turning them in himself.

You found yourself wondering quite bittersweetly if your replacement would go to such extents. Hopefully, they would understand that the Captain would deserve nothing less.

All that reminiscing and daydreaming seemed to make time simply flash by. You were already stood at the Captain's weathered door. With your boot, you tapped, like you always did.

 **Tap tap tap.**

"Sir," you called.

"Enter."

You tried to open the door with your elbow, as your hands were full. It made you wonder why you didn't just take a bag with you to put all the candles in. It took a go or two but you managed to enter, noticing that the Captain was still in the same position as when you left him. Deciding not to bother him with needless conversation, you got to work with replacing the candles that were reduced to tiny stumps. It wasn't dark enough to light them yet, but you had noticed earlier that they were beginning to burn out.

Just one of the many little things you did for Captain Levi.

"Another tray of tea, if you will, [l/n]," he commanded, fixated on reading the documents in his hand.

"Ah, I'm sorry, sir," you bit your lip. "I have to see Commander Erwin straight after this." This caught his attention, and his eyes flicked towards you as you were still replacing a candle. "Besides, it's a little late, is it not? You won't be able to sleep earlier if you have tea now," you continued, mumbling a forgotten 'sir' at the end of your sentence.

He was silent for a moment, simply observing you as you worked. You felt his gaze, but you didn't flinch. You had gotten used to the stoic man aeons ago. Taking the stumps of candle wax in your hand, you figured that each stick still had an hour's worth of wax still – you often used what was left of the candle to take to your own shared quarters.

"However if you insist, I will return with a tray after the Commander is done with me," you turned to the seated man, giving him a polite smile. "Although I cannot guarantee promptness."

Two pairs of eyes met. "That will be fine."

He simply went back to work. You set the four candle stumps onto the Captain's couch and told him you'd be back to collect them later. A hum of acknowledgement was the only reply while you excused yourself.

You returned again to your own thoughts as you walked down the lonely halls. Your footsteps echoed while you thought to yourself.

 _Perhaps I'll write some sort of guide or checklist. Help the new assistant out somehow._

 _My first duty as squad leader shall be to train them._

Laughing quietly under your breath at the thought, you found yourself in front of the Commander's door. You could hear voices inside.

 **Knock knock knock.**

"Who is ittt!" sang a female voice.

You had to look up for a moment to read the brass plaque on the door, checking to see if you were at the right office. Which you were.

"[f/n] [l/n]. I'm here to collect official documents from the commander, ma'am."

Erwin's voice followed, "you may enter."

"Oouh! I figured it would be you getting the promotion!" called Hange as you briskly walked through the door. She stood without her uniform jacket over her yellow button up.

"Squad Leader Hange, Commander Erwin!" you barked, giving them a salute. Hange simply waved it off.

"We're the same rank now! No need for that. You really think I still salute when I see Erwin?" the brunette grinned. Her smile was too contagious. You couldn't help but return it.

"Yes, ma'am– Hange," you brought a hand to your mouth, trying to conceal the silly grin in your face.

You squeaked as the woman yelled and threw her arms over you. "I'm so glad! Erwin, [f/n] deserves it more than anyone!"

Her freakishly strong embrace shocked you as you tried to squirm out, but you gave up trying to break from her vice bear hug. All you could do was neatly wrap your arms around her, much to Hange's delight. She emitted a high pitched and loud hum while squeezing you harder.

 _Wall Maria, I can't breath–_

"Enough, Hange."

 _Oh thank god_

She loosened her grip around her friend and pouted slightly. You laughed as you wiggled away from her arms and turned your attention to the towering Commander. In his hands was an envelope, unsealed, with papers inside it. Those must be the official documents to prove you were a Squad Leader. Timidly, you accepted the envelope when your superior held it out to you.

"I won't let you down, Commander, sir!" you beamed while clutching the envelope.

He nodded firmly, with a smile gracing his lips.

"Miss Hange Zoë here will be somewhat of a mentor for now," he gestured towards the woman who practically vibrated with excitement. "If you have any queries, she will be the one to–"

"I'll be the one to help you out!" Hange leapt at you again, cuddling you much softer than before. You relished in the affection from your friend.

"Thank you so much, sir!"

People would normally question why a (former) Private First Class was so comfortable around their superiors. Especially when one was draped over your shoulders and the other had his hand firmly grasping your arm, standing over you. But the Captain had sent you to see them so many times – probably hundreds of times! – that you knew better than to be nervous. That didn't mean you weren't respectful, though.

"Oh!" your outburst stopped Hange mid-chatter while she showered you in affectionate babbles. "Captain Levi–"

"What about him?" your head snapped up by a few inches at the familiar, but piercing voice. You looked to the side to see the short man leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed. "When you said you needed to see Erwin I wasn't expecting the beginnings of a gangbang."

Your jaw dropped.

"Sir–!"

You were used to his vulgarity, but that was just too much!

"I was wondering why you needed my assistant and not me," his monotone voice resonated as you noticed him eyeing the letter in your hand.

"No way are you getting in on this _ménage a trois!_ " teased the veteran squad leader. You slapped the arm that was draped across your shoulder while a light pink was dusted across your cheeks.

"Hange!" you squeaked.

"Idiot, do you even speak French?" scoffed the ravenette. "Whatever. [l/n]. Tea," he ordered while tipping his head in the direction down the hallway.

Hange whines when you shimmied from her embrace. "Sir!" you nodded before taking strides towards the mess hall kitchen, envelope still held to your chest with a smile.

In all your concentration to get to the kitchen, you failed to notice the Captain's eyes trained on your back. He watched intently you as you walked away from him, and let out a deep exhale once you were out of sight. The Captain closed his eyes as he stepped into Erwin's office and shut the door behind him. He knew he was going to have a long talk with his two comrades.


End file.
